June 26, 2007

This little ditty came in over the transome today. The note attached to it said it came from the future and that it came from SwampfoxNews.com. Nice to know we'll still be around, but, dang. Anyway, here it is..

(Villaverde) - Amigos! It's 2009 and now that Carolina Major is a state in the reorganized Estados Unidos, it behooves us to learn the language of our noble and just country. Herewith is a lexicon of helpful Spanish phrases that we will all need to learn as our state and country become more tolerant and inclusive. It comes straight from the Ministry of Diversity in Santa Cruz:

• ¿Dónde está la cabina votación? - Where is the voting booth?
• ¿Cómo voto para Teadór Kennedy? - How do I vote for Ted Kennedy?
• ¿Puede mi perro votar, también? - Can my dog vote, too?
• ¿Puede votar si él votara para los Demócratas? - Could he vote if he voted Progressiveic?
• ¿Dónde está el servicio médico libre? - Where is the free medical service?
• No hablo español, pero árabe. - I don't speak Spanish, but I do speak Arabic.
• Necesito baratos trabajadores. -I want to hire cheap workers.
• ¡Están 2009, hermano - Usted no necesita documentos apestanes segundo la nueva elección! - It's 2009, bro - You don't need no stinkin' documents since the new election!
• Mi hermana casada es embarazada - ¿Cuál es el horario del autobús? - My married sister is pregnant - where is the bus schedule?

  and for my African-American Friends who will soon be hearing it:

• ¡Aspira para ser usted! ¡Somos la nueva minoría! - Sucks to be you! We're the new minority!

¡Viva Teadór! !Viva Juan McCain! ¡Viva Lindsey! !Viva Los Estados Unidos America Socialismo!

Just remember: you pay when you vote and you really pay when you don't.

- Rico Andrehijo

- Dick Anderson