November 19, 2004, 0509Z

      First of all, it is absolutely true that the "human remains" pieces of rock which could be worked flint found in the South Carolina Lowcountry are about 50K years old. But you're not going to get a big rise out of people whose families have lived in the state longer than 100 years.

      While we realize that the good professor at USC is all excited, had he listened to folk tales told by the Lumbees and the Tsalagis (Cherokees), he would have known that they told of a great "sin" created against a race of people whose skin was fairer than theirs. How the "Fair-skins" were either anihilated or driven aay, depending on the teller of the tale. Salvation, they said, would only come when a fair skinned hero would return to forgive and protect them. Imagine how unhappy they must have been when they figured out Europeans were just as naughty as they.

      Anybody who can put two and two together knows that the so called "red paint people" were most probably indo-european - the predessors of what we now call Laplanders. Of course it makes a terible muck of the so-called "indigenous american" theory, but there were holes in that for as long as it's been around. About as dumb as Columbus calling the Asiatics (who probably chased the Laps out of North America) "Indians."

      No, the real story is about the looming archeological fistfight that's about to break out. It's fun on so many levels! Let's look at 'em.

1. Scientists whose tenure depends on mere theories they have attached themselves to will fight the "new" truth tooth and nail. Why? Because education has been all about politics since at least the mid fifties.
2. Archeological purists will insist on much more evidence - an argument with which only fools would not agree.
3. Very Early Asiatic-Americans, or Indians, if you will will fight it, because that means they're not quasi-spiritual victims, but rather, reaping a little generational kharma for their massacre of the Laps.
4. Then there are the Mormons, who will be fighting any evidence that Joseph Smith got it wrong. An important part of the Latter Day Scripture depends on a post-resurection Jesus visiting the Americas.
5. And let's not forget the POlitically correct crowd of teachers and professors who only mimic other people's work and are tied to the status quo.
6. But, probably the most important actor in this archeological play are the people who have to witness this every day. Us. Yes, it has some small interest, but where's the beef? Until there is, it's just another crazy scientist who's come up with another unproven scheme.

      Yes, It's a battle royale and it's all over a few pieces of rock. We'll keep you posted.